annyka: (Default)
[personal profile] annyka

I have forgotten *how* to have a period!

I first got my menarche (first period) when I was 15. It took me a few cycles and 'accidents' to get used to it all, but I'm pretty regular and once I got the hang of it, I rarely got my clothes messed (especially after day 1).
I started using Tampons when I was about 16 and the messes became even more few and far between. Then I found the diva cup (when I was about 25) and the messes were so far in between I can't remember the last time I had to clean AF off my clothes. I even had a baby, and managed to keep my clothes clean from the Lochia all except on the first day, with the teeniest spillage.

Yet, I get my first period after giving birth to Raistlin, and I have to learn the whole god damn experience again!!! No one warned me about that. I have had to change my underwear (and wash them) twice already and even a pair of pants!!!
I've tried using the Divacup, but now that I am 30 AND given birth, it no longer fits and keeps sliding down, to the point that I feel like I have an egg hanging out my twat. I have to keep pushing it back in and so I thought "I have maternity pads left over, they did a good job for the Lochia and this can't be as heavy, I'll use them"... Yeah, right.. It's while wearing those stupid things, that I've had the leakage over my undies... it's like maternity pads know the difference between the types of blood and lets this stuff run over the edge.. There sure as hell wasn't as much period now as when I had the Lochia!

And all this aside - I don't remember EVER feeling this bloated, this pissed off, this hungry for red meat, this crampy... I am sure I did, but I don't remember.. the last year and 3 months have taken over that part of my memory. All I want is chocolate, meat and a man's head to rip off!

Anyway.. I am roaming the house like a t-rex looking for it's next pray, making messes all over my clothes and then grumbling as I try and clean them before the stain sets in.. quickly running out of underwear and wanting to hide in the corner and cry at the same time as eating whatever red meat can make it to my mouth.

Luckily I have a very understanding man (DH) who knows to stay out of my way, make me a big steak and help look after the little one for me while I sob and cry and whinge and whatever else my body demands of me.

Grrrr - stupid Periods.
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annyka: (Default)

January 2009

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